Dream Elixir

Backstory . . .
As you may or may not know, I have been struggling with stomach issues since last May when I had what I'm sure was a horrible gall-bladder attack. Unfortunately six months and $6000 worth of tests later, no one can confirm that, nor really pinpoint what the cause of my troubles is--they like to just throw around words like GERD and give me a big prescription list. After some research of my own, and my sister's (Thanks Edie) I wondered if my troubles were at all related to the anti-depressant that I have been taking for two years. My DR and I decided that I wouldn't take it anymore as an experiment and I would instead use some natural treatments for my anxiety and depression. I am excited to say that exercise therapy coupled with lots of sunshine (I LOVE living in the desert--it may be brown but we have so much sun, and beautiful sunsets too . . .) has been FAR more effective than Wellbutrin ever was. Turbofire rocks as a drug!!

The bad news is, stomach problems are still here. I am not interested in taking Prilosec for the rest of my life--no thank you big pharma, you can keep someone else sick, but I need to to do something. So back to the research. I love love love Chris Kresser's Website. He calls himself the Healthy Skeptic. Check out his site for TONS of information on all sorts of health topics. (My favorite article, How not to spend the last ten years of your life in a wheelchair and a diaper.)  One of his suggestions was to have  1 tsp raw (unfiltered, unpastuerized) apple cider vinegar with 8ounces of water several times a day, in addition to eating better, to help restore the balance to the gut (oh, how I hate that word).

So I tried it--with a little dash of stevia to sweeten the deal. I call it my Cambuche, which I know isn't the same thing, even a little bit, but I like the sound of it. I have seen a noticeable dip in my stomach pain. My reflux has also decreased--hardly there, even when I had a little taste of wedding cake on Saturday night. (Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, that was what we at the Herman house call good wedding cake!)

This has all been great, but the most exiting thing has happened in the bathroom--don't worry, no TMI moment--on the scale! One side-effect of stopping wellbutrin has been a traumatic 10 pound weight gain in the midst of all this increased excercise. BUT since last Wednesday I have lost at least 5 pounds. The "Cambuche" makes me feel full. It also has magically stopped me when I'm in the middle of an I-can't-find-enough-to-snack-on afternoon binge. I imagine it's also doing all those things in my gut that Chris Kresser talked about. I'm also actually getting used to, and even, dare I say, enjoying my little beverage!

The fountain of youth, no regrets . . .

"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."
John Barrymore

At lunch last week, a friend said, this year my goal is to gain a little weight, see if I can be a little more lazy and a little less productive. I'm a little tired of setting the same goals EVERY year, because I just don't seem to be getting it done. After reading a beautifully inspirational post by a Jessica Albrecht on her blog, Is Forever Enough, I decided that I would set a goal that I haven't ever set before--blogging. I created this blog last April, and with a grand total of one post all year, I'm confident that I can succsfully improve on that!!

After a week of regrets about a situation that I handled badly, mostly due to inexperience, but badly nontheless, I'm feeling the need to work on my dreams more. Not so much dreams like they talked about when I went to Mary Kay meetings--big houses, fancy cars, amazing vacations--but dreams about who I was supposed to be, who I think I really am. Little things that I want to define me, and things that I want to no longer define me.

A new friend said to me, "so you're a writer?' I had to laugh because I haven't written much more than a grocery list and a facebook post in a really long time. But she got on her "passion soapbox" and really lectured me about how what we are doing right now doesn't necessarily define who or what we are. It really caused me to think and to remember that maybe, deep down, that's what I've dreamed of being, who I really am. So this year I'm going to write. I'll still have to write grocery lists, and I enjoy posting on facebook, but I'm excited to add blogging and journaling and maybe some essays on the things running around in my head all the time.